The secret
August 24, 2009, 10:32 am
Filed under: Life, Love, Musings, Thoughts, Time | Tags: , , , , , ,

The secret is laid carefully, over the Formica topped, tea stained canteen table; like dew drops laid early morning on the sleeping grass. It’s spoken softly, delicately, even lovingly. The secret; it’s brutal. Traverses the tunnels of the ear, reverberating on the hard white bones and melting into soft pink flesh. Its sweet brutality soaks into the crumbs of bread on his plate, making it toxic. Contaminated. Useless, like wilted flowers on a hot day in June.

The secret giver and the secret taker. Bound by words spoken. Seated face to face on hard wooden chairs, with the world dissolving into a murky shade of red around them. Red, of love and blood; result of the mistakes of love. Words unspoken hang in the air, to be spoken later. Or not; because to never speak again is a bliss people understand only when they are faced with utter wordlessness. Utter callousness.

She looks into his eyes. Straight. There’s no regret. No remorse. The unspeakable said. It’s the moment before everything crashes onto the ground; and the moment before the moment before. All those moments before that moment, merged into one silent eternity. And looming ahead is a future of cold nights. 

A fly sits on the crumb of bread, sucking on its stale uselessness. Oblivious to the secret and its dangers. Oblivious to the silent struggle of people; to the smells and garbage of the universe. He swats the fly away. The fly flies away, flying away with the poisons of the secret in its intestines. Still oblivious.

Then he gets up to leave. She gets up because he gets up. Two people united, only in the act of standing up. Only for two seconds of purpose.  Time stands still. Lives stand still. Around the secret, everything revolves at breakneck speed. Ignoring this, he turns to go home; her face is passive.

The fly settles on a fresh piece of bread.

Secrets

 

 

 

 



August 20, 2009, 11:43 am
Filed under: Life, Love, Musings, Thoughts, Time | Tags: , , , , , , ,

livingI walk through a blur; a paintbox full of colours.

The smell of people, stuffed with thoughts, dreams & memories.

The smell of garbage, of ciggarettes & of blood.

Induces me into a stupor, of wonder. Of  joyousness. Addics me to that electrifying pleassure of love. 

Addict. Addicting. Addicted.



Theories of time; part ii
August 7, 2009, 4:45 am
Filed under: Life, Love, Musings, Thoughts, Time, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Are you dreaming again? Playing with people’s lives, in your head. Imagining in ethereal jargon, a life without war. Life without hate.

You think, of thoughts you can’t speak. Thoughts you can only whisper of, very softly, to the dying embers of twilight. Thoughts that could consume you, if you thought just a fraction too much.

 Are you the daydreamer? Are you the gold spark I see in the sunset, a second before darkness blinds the world? The wind that blasts through my room scattering paper, all over the floor; Scattering my feelings and good sense, into nothingness. The fire that ravages through the woods, leaving nothing, but more fire. The ability to invoke dreams in people; the best part of god everyone left behind…

 



Orfe – Cynthia Voigt
August 7, 2009, 4:41 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

orfe“Orfe raised her face and, just for a second, I could see in her eyes a catch-me-if-you-can expression. I’d seen it before, in games of red rover. It was there for just a second before she had it hidden behind a hand that brushed hair out of her eyes. When she lowered her hand, her eyes were full of resolution and good sense. If you looked at her, if the glance of her eyes fell over you, you would know that she resolved on sensible action, which was what we’ve advised.

 I knew better.

I knew better and I didn’t blame her: If there is someone like Yuri in your life, the only sensible line of action is to do everything you can to keep him or get him back. Anything else is nonsense. Is cowardice or failure of love. If you can climb Annapurna, then there is no other mountain you want to set your feet on, no matter how much good sense people talk to you, about how high and hurtful Annapurna is. The only thing that made sense was for Orfe to go to the house and find Yuri. I didn’t think Yuri would ever come back on his own, not now that he has failed. When you have failed once, you know you can fail again; until then you can hope you won’t. Having failed her once, Yuri would refuse to leave her in a position where she could be failed by him again. Yuri knew how to love.”